I Want To Feel is a spoken word love poem for love.
It is my encouragement for every woman to activate and own her feminine energy and express her desire to want love, to give love, and to make love.
I wrote, “I Want To Feel,” as a challenge to myself to speak out my desires and reconnect with my feminine power. I wanted to shed the mask of the harder, more masculine version of me I developed to protect myself from unconscious men. I carried this militant version of myself for many years as a way to appear less vulnerable. And… it worked! But I found that I lost a major part of who I was born to be: my true self.
As I unfold into my womanhood as a daughter, a sister, a lover, a mother, I’m breaking down cultural limitations that I’ve internalized and letting myself return to my true essence. I am a curious, open, nurturing, loving soul. It has been quite a journey of revisiting who I truly am; loving her as an expressive being. I am choosing to live from this wondrous place.
More thoughts on the topic:
I believe that Inside every woman, lives a deep desire to be free to unleash the full potential of her sensuality, sexuality, her nurturer spirit and the brightness of her light that comes from owning her femininity. Every woman wants to freely express her nature in her own unique way. Every woman wants to explore the playground of her body, her mind, and her spirit. Every woman wants to know the full extent of her womanhood. No matter how repressed, restrained, confined, or overly masculine she appears–this is the truth. For some women, it comes easy to live out their essence. For most, it takes time and some effort to be reintroduced to her feminine self and own it. And some, never do.
Although it is freely available, many of us only live our feminine selves at a half-mass level. It is much easier for us to speak up about how we want to be treated politically, at work, or at school. It is much more of a challenge to own up to our own desires; what we dream about; what we want for and from OUR SELVES; what we want from our relationships; the way we want to be treated and tended to in every way. To speak up in this way, requires vulnerability and moments of quiet to delve into ones self and really listen to what you’ve been yearning for. Know that you deserve whatever it is that you’ve been longing for. THEN, tend to it. Give THAT to yourself. No one can give you what you don’t already give to yourself. If they did, you wouldn’t even be able to recognize it because you haven’t had it to know it. So start with you.
Openness and Sensuality/Sexuality:
I will admit–sometimes it gets hard to be open to your own fantasies and desires when the world tells you that you’re a hoe for expressing yourself and exploring yourself, in particular, with others. Then it gets more confusing when the world tells you that you must be sexually enticing or experienced to be competent and desirable as a woman… otherwise… you’re condemned to loneliness. Somehow, we end up feeling shame for having “too much” of a sexual past or persona or ashamed for not having enough sensuality or sexual experiences or not having had any sexual partners at all. And for many of us, if not most, having a negative sexual experience or trauma adds a depth of confusion and hurt to an already muddled situation. Add a few break-ups, some bad takeaways… and there it is… the beginning of the end of your feminine power, your voice, self-confidence, and the rise of “never agains.” Never again will I nurture a man. Never again will I love so hard. Never again will I be vulnerable… never again, never again, never again. Then comes the dimming down of that light that every woman has, and, so deeply desires to explore and have explored. That light that every man so deeply craves.
But we must resist that chatter that does the dimming: “I’m an independent woman, I don’t need a man.” “I’m not looking to take care of someone.” “I don’t want to get hurt.” “I’m a mom… I don’t have time for a man in my life–my kids are my life.”
Making negative chatter your truth and denying your inner desires, is truly the greatest disservice to your life and the love that you deserve that is so abundantly available to you. It is also a repellent to those who live openly, love boldly, and own their walk in life. It’s a repellent to a confident, masculine man who naturally desires that feminine energy and light in a relationship. And it is definitely a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Listen: no one should ever need someone to be happy or have anyone in their lives to hold them back. And most definitely, no one should ever be allowed to take away from a mother-child relationship. But it sure does feel nice to say outloud, “I want to love and be loved back with the same magnitude.” And it feels even better to be touched and caressed, and made love to, and tended to and listened to and cared for by a masculine, beautiful, abundant, open minded, independent, loving, honest, spiritual, worldly, conscious, sexy, high valued man. Ya heard me! And it feels good to just feel dainty, delicate, delicious, wanted, desired, sexy, feminine. Can I get an Amen?
BUT… it starts with how you feel about you. Do you love you? Do you love you enough to uphold what you deserve and ground yourself in your divine feminine power? Do you understand that the only way for you to do that is choose to love you every day?
You can choose to love yourself by celebrating the brilliance of your nature. The brilliance of your sex. The brilliance of your heart and the reality that it is because of the power of the force of femininity that the world exists.
Wear beautiful bold colors that you typically would never. Where one solid red scarf or a pair of bright blue shoes with your typical attire or paint your nails beautiful colors, varying them every week. Then work your way up to full on outfits that make you feel bold, sexy, alive, confident, beautiful… who you really are inside.
Use language that focuses on the positive aspects of your day, your family, your work and your life, in general. Limit negative talk about others and events from the news and gossip. Because positive and negative aspects of life are always available, you get to choose to focus your mind on the positive and that reinforces your light.
Minimize dialogue with negative and toxic people. Everyone knows and loves/loved someone who is toxic. There’s no way to bypass the weight and the darkness they cast on our sunshine. So, love them from a distance. Then fill your life up with like minded, open, empowered, encouraging new friends.
And the most powerful and instant way you can feel your light and share it, is to just smile all day. It is simplest, most magical way to ignite your femininity.
When you feel wonderful because of how you adjusted your outfits, your language, the people around you, your demeanor, you will know that you’ve been under a spell by how you’ve presented yourself to the world AND… yourself.
Open yourself up to the possibilities of who you can be, how you can be, what you really want, and what feels right for you. It takes some boldness to let go of limiting beliefs. To walk in your light. But it really does start with you giving yourself permission to feel sensual, beautiful, alive, empowered, and open to what makes you a woman.
The abundance of receiving love starts with having an abundance of love for yourself. When you decide to free yourself from your own limiting beliefs about who you are as a woman and embrace that you truly do deserve to feel good about yourself, love in it’s abundant form will be apparent everywhere you turn. Just start by owning every inch of you in the mirror. Say, “all of this (your body) is mine… all mine.” Say, “I get to have this (every inch of you) everyday and I LOVE IT.” Speak that love into existence until you have 100% convinced yourself that this is the truth (because it is) and anyone who meets you will only know this truth that is you. This loving, confident, magnetic energy that inspires anyone before you to love themselves, too.
You are free when you are living your truths. When you are the source of your empowerment. When you own every part of you: the stuff you like and the stuff you’re working on. When you explore the parts of you that wants to feel, taste, touch, smell, see, all that life has to offer. When you can have compassion for yourself. When you live from that child-like curiosity about life and others and the exploration of your world–the one inside and the world around you. When you can bring that profound sense of wonder and self-love and compassion into your expressions and interactions, it is liberating for everyone in your presence. By saying what you want from your deepest feminine desires, and living from who you really are, you give everyone permission to do the same.
Doing so openly, unapologetically, and lovingly is liberating for you AND the people that need to know how to love you.
Their is beauty and strength in vulnerability, desire, and openness.
Enjoy the poem (video above) and remember to do life brilliantly,