Straight up, no chaser… here we go:
- Create a ritual… and… stick to it. This is the first on the list because it is literally how you can manufacture a sense of self value and self confidence. In life, we make promises–to ourselves and others–and at times, we find ourselves breaking them. Do that enough times and you will lose a sense of value in your own word, which in turn affects your self respect, then your self worth… and then out goes your sense of self confidence. So, create trust for yourself by every morning (or evening) creating a ritual where you give yourself attention on your mind, your body, your soul. For example: get on your stationary bike for an hour, then journal for about 15 minutes while you sip your coffee (or green tea), and then meditate for about 10 minutes, to get you centered–all before you jump in the shower and get your day started. For you folks with kids, it might be a bit tricky (your Girl knows all about it). So wake up at unspeakable hours and get to your ‘me-time’ before the babies wake up and it’s all about them (rightfully so:)).
- Remove toxic people from your life. If you can’t exactly get rid of them, then little by little, diminish contact. Here’s how: at first, just don’t call, let them call you. When they call, pick up at first, but over time, start to let calls go to voicemail. Eventually, pick up and let them know you’ve started a project that will take up much of your time (the project is your new life!) and don’t go into much detail. Toxic people don’t usually care so much about your life, but allow you to talk about what you’re up to because it gives them a turn to talk about themselves and the drama in their lives (that is why they are toxic!). So keep it general when you talk about you and let them do much of the talking until phone calls get boring to them. Don’t react to their efforts to get info out of you because that will undo the process you’ve started to taper off contact. They’ll seemingly have an opinion or advice on what you shared and then revert attention back to them, prolonging chances of their toxicity penetrating your new found sense of motivation.
- Forgive anyone who’s hurt you. Easier said than done. But it is highly necessary and very much impossible to live that life of brilliance if you have the weight and darkness of the past hurts casting shadows and weighing you down. You MUST let go of your past hurts to embrace new, loving experiences and people who are attracted to your light.
- Make new, high quality friends and take care of the current friendships that replenish you. Join a group of some sort where everyone is learning a new activity that requires partnership or dialogue. This creates the opportunity to talk to new people and automatically have something in common… your new interest in the activity that brought you together. It also allows you to add new, fun moments to your current friendship and deepen your bonds. Check out step 5 for more ideas.
- Make your life interesting. Learn a new skill. Take up swimming (that one’s for me). Take up martial arts (also for me). Take up cooking lessons. (Love a man who can throw-down…just saying). Take up a dance class that will allow you the chance to get into your body and out of your head. Learning salsa, for example, is a phenomenal way to become more sexy, skilled on the dance floor, learn a new culture (if salsa isn’t already part of your culture:)), be more confident, make new friends, and overall, become an interesting person. Love me a man who can move… just saying.
- Dress to impress… yourself. Put on something that makes you feel sexy, desirable, strong, confident, competent, untouchable, but also… touchable;). And when you assemble that outfit, don’t forget to look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I am the shiznit!”
- Journal, my friends. Journaling allows you to hear, see, and process your thoughts and emotions. Here is where you can vent about an issue without anyone getting hurt or ever knowing you felt that way. Here is where you release negativity and then tell yourself what you want to see happen and what you’ve learned in the process. Here’s where you celebrate you! People often ask, “how can I love myself?” Well, this process allows you to get to know yourself on an intimate level. When you know you, you start to build compassion for yourself and you begin to love you more. So have a journal date with just you, the journal and a beautiful breakfast/dinner over a beautiful view or in a cozy spot at home. Do this especially before you go into confronting anyone about an issue. It will help you generate a positive intention, formulate your logic and throw out any illogical thoughts you might possibly bring into your sit down. No therapist needed. Get your mind and your heart right without a bill, ya heard me?!
- Exercise and get your body right. Nothing tops this. When you’re body is right, so is your mind. Period. You feel good so you think good. Amazingly enough, the world responds with the same respect for the time and discipline you put into your body, mind, and soul. This goes back to creating a ritual in Step 1.
- Eat good and healthy. You really are what you eat. Every single cell in your body draws on your food sources to regenerate. So eating foods that replenish and hydrate you mean you are the shiznit on a cellular level! BTW, eating good can absolutely be healthy. So many recipes out there in the world. In fact, I’ll be posting some on DLB. So look out for them.
- Finally, if you have any thing you need to own up to in your life–anyone you know you’ve done wrong or let down–then, damn it, own your shit and make amends. Apologize and MEAN IT. There’s nothing that eats away at your sense of who you are and your wellbeing than knowing you have hurt someone who’s still walking this earth. For those who’ve passed on, you can still own up to whatever was unsaid. Apologizing to someone helps them heal, but it’s really about you letting go and giving yourself the chance to do better. People who’ve passed on aren’t worried about the life they’ve lived on Earth. That is why it does not matter whether you can call them up over the phone, or talk to them in spirit. So, even though this is at the bottom of the list on how to Do Life Brilliantly, this is where I would start.
Alright, my DLBers! It’s been real. Let me know your thoughts.
Leave a comment below.
Until the next post… Do life brilliantly!